The Prince and the Pauper in the Steamy Sauna
by KawaiiBoushi
Summary: Naoto finds herself along in the TV World once more, confronting - Kanji's true self? What could he be hiding, and what does it have to do with her? Tune in to the Midnight Channel tonight to find out!


_Note to self: complain to landlord about outlandishly high temperature of apartment._

For the love of all that was holy, it had to be a hundred degrees in here. And when had her bed become so hard and uncomfortable? It felt like solid wood. As sleep gradually loosened its hold on Naoto's mind, she opened her eyes to see that she was, in fact, sprawled out on solid wood, and her vision was clouded by steam.

"It feels like a sauna in here," she mumbled, sitting up and wiping sweat from her brow as she yawned and tugged at her collar. From what Naoto could see – very little – she was in a large, wooden room filled with steam and furnished with traditional Japanese decor. Though it was ridiculous, Naoto concluded she _must_ be in a sauna. But she had no memory of how she got here – the last thing she remembered was settling in at home with a mug of tea and the latest volume of _Detective Conan_ – or the existence of such a place in Inaba.

Unless – strange place, heavy fog – the wheels in her mind started turning – was this – it couldn't be – the world inside the TV?

"Brilliant deduction, little prince," a strangely familiar voice purred in Naoto's ear, causing her to start. Impossible – she had been alone just moments ago, there was no way someone could have snuck up on her. Reaching for her gun – blast it all, of course she wouldn't have it – Naoto leapt to her feet, backing up quickly, until shock stopped her in her tracks.

"Oh – oh my, oh…Kanji-kun?" The man standing before her certainly…resembled Kanji. A very – save the fundoshi wrapped around his waist – naked Kanji. His lips were pursed in a pouty smirk, his arms raised and clasped behind his head, posed as if for a photo of scandalous nature.

"Guess again," he tutted, winking a yellow eye. Naoto gasped.

"You're his Shadow," she realized. Come to think of it, she was the only one not to have seen anyone else's Shadow. And she thought hers, acting like a child, had been bad. No wonder no one else wanted to talk about theirs – thank heaven she had been _clothed,_ at least. "But – no, that's not possible. He accepted you, didn't he? You became his Persona."

"Anything's possible, isn't it, Nao Doll? You should know that by now." The Shadow began to strut towards Naoto. She couldn't quite seem to make her feet work, and before she could get away, it had an arm slunk around her waist, holding her against its body. With its free hand, it knocked her hat off her head so that it could run its fingers through her hair.

"Unhand me this instant," Naoto demanded, her words coming out at a pitch high enough to ruin any attempt at dignity. She struggled in vain to escape the Shadow's clutches, pushing at its chest, shuddering to find it drenched with sweat. The Shadow hummed with laughter, hooking a finger under her chin and tipping her face back. It held her gaze – she couldn't tear her eyes away, couldn't move – licking lips curled into a grin.

"_Mmm_, you precious child, we could just eat you up." Naoto swallowed and wiped her hands on her pants and her forehead with her sleeve. "Oh, yes, a bit hot in here, isn't it?" the doppelganger asked conversationally. "Is that why you're red as a cute little lobster? Why don't we get you out of those heavy clothes…" It undid Naoto's topmost button, and she slapped its hand away. The Shadow smirked and poked her nose, loosening its grip, and Naoto gratefully broke free of the embrace.

"I – I am perfectly fine," she gasped, feeling like she would choke on the suffocating steam. She quickly buttoned her shirt back up and pulled her jacket closed for good measure. "Now tell me why I'm here. Assuming there's any reason for Kanji-kun's Shadow to come out again, why would it appear to me instead of him?"

"Don't talk about me like I'm not even here," the Shadow sighed. "Hurts my feelings."

"Answer my question. I'm not in the mood for games."

The Shadow stuck out its tongue. "You never are." Naoto just glowered at it. "Oh, poo, you mean you aren't enjoying my company? Does it really matter why we're here? Can't we just have some fun?"

"I'm afraid not," Naoto replied stonily. "If you've done anything to Kanji-kun –"

"Worried about us?" it interrupted, catching her off guard.

"Well – yes. He is my friend."

The Shadow scoffed, squatting to pick Naoto's hat off the floor. She made to snatch it away, but the Shadow danced out of her reach and placed it on its head, tipping it low over one eye. "Ooh, I see why you like this, it feels so mysterious," it giggled. "I think I'll hang on to it."

"Give it back," Naoto snapped, crossing her arms. "I'm growing tired of this. What do you want?"

"Now there's a question I can answer." It crept closer, thrusting its hips suggestively. "_You._"

"Please – _please_ do not…gyrate – so – so close to me," Naoto stammered, backing up. "Or, preferably, not at all."

Kanji's Shadow gave a breathy laugh, sashaying after her. "Oh, I'm sorry, does that make you uncomfortable?" Its expression soured, and its silvery voice became rough, more like the real Kanji's. "Well, that's too friggin' bad. It's about time you got a taste of your own medicine."

Naoto frowned. "My own…?"

"Oh, come now, doll, we all know you aren't stupid. Do I really need to spell it out for you?" It leaned in so that it was face-to-face with her, speaking slowly. "I, Kanji Tatsumi, thought I was gay for some pretty little detective boy. It's your fault we ended up in this hellhole."

"I – oh," was all Naoto could manage. It had, eventually, dawned on her that perhaps Kanji's strange behavior was an indication he harbored romantic feelings for her, but she had no idea it went so far back. Had her initial attempt to prevent more kidnappings done more harm than good? "I…I'm sorry, I didn't…"

"No, you didn't," the Shadow agreed spitefully. "And here's the kicker – it turns out you weren't even a guy, and we still liked you. More, even." Watching her hungrily, the Shadow stalked slow circles around Naoto, sending a chill down her spine in spite of the temperature. It bit its lip, sharply sucking in air. "Oh, you drive us _crazy_. So tough, so cool; cooler than we'll ever be, but still pretty as a doll. Soft porcelain skin, big beautiful eyes, lips just _begging _to be kissed, again and again."

Naoto drew a hand over her mouth self-consciously.

"We've been so hopelessly, _pathetically_ head over heels for you since the moment you said you were 'interested in us.' It's all we can do to keep it together around you, but you barely even notice us. You can't really be as oblivious as you act, though." The Shadow adjusted the brim of Naoto's hat and adopted a pose she supposed was meant to mimic her, arms crossed and disdain on its face. "No, Nao Doll, you have to have caught on. We know it, deep down, we just don't want to believe you could be so cruel. Why won't you put us out of our misery already? Do people like you get off on watching people like us squirm?"

Naoto blinked. "People like – I don't…" The Shadow was right about one thing at least: Naoto knew how Kanji felt. If she hadn't been sure at first, her suspicions had been confirmed by Rise's drawn-out '_duh'_ when she had asked if it was maybe possible that Kanji might potentially like her as more than a friend. Her initial reaction had been surprise. What did he see in her? Naoto tried not to draw conclusions about people without evidence, but she wouldn't have classified herself as 'his type.' It wasn't until days later that Naoto realized what her initial reaction hadn't been – to let Kanji down easy before anyone's feelings were damaged beyond repair. That's what a good friend would do, right?

But…maybe it was selfish of her, but it felt nice to feel wanted. To know that someone valued her existence and wanted her around; someone like Kanji, who was strong and kind and understood her better than anyone else on their team. Naoto _knew_ it was selfish. She knew her friends all cared for her, she didn't need to lead Kanji on for her own sake. To her credit, she had tried to bring the subject up countless times, but something always stopped her – the thought that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't entirely selfish to want to feel wanted. And maybe it wasn't entirely selfish to want to feel wanted by a specific person, either. And if you were still trying to determine exactly why you wanted that specific person to want you, and whether you wanted them in return, well, you were certainly entitled to keep them in the dark and shy away from talking to them about it, so long as you planned to do it eventually. And she would. Eventually.

"Earth to Nao Doll!" Naoto jolted back to reality, where Kanji's Shadow was snapping its fingers in her face in exasperation. It looked like eventually was coming sooner than she had hoped. "See, this is what I'm talking about. Here I am, spilling my guts, and you can't be bothered to listen to a word I say. I guess you're above associating with us. Just some delinquent pauper, not good enough for the detective prince." Its words were laced with venom.

"Kanji-kun." _It's not him, not really. _"I'm sorry. I promise, that's not how I feel at all."

"No, you just don't feel, do you?" The Shadow drew itself up to its full height, towering above Naoto. "We'd do anything for you, and you just don't care. 'Kanji-kun this,' 'Kanji-kun that,' 'he's my friend,' don't you see, we want _more. _It's not enough. We want everything you can give us, all of it, all of _you_, and you give us _nothing_. We're sick and tired of you playin' with our feelings like this. Friendshipain't worth squat. It's all or nothing, Nao Doll –" Its voice a low growl, the Shadow grabbed her face in one large hand, her wrist in the other, yellow eyes flashing. "And I ain't takin' nothing for an answer."

Icy fear paralyzed Naoto as the Shadow tensed like a snake about to strike. She squeezed her eyes shut, and –

"Th'hell is goin' on in here?"

Never had Naoto been so happy to hear that loud, angry voice. The Shadow, momentarily distracted, let her go, and she whirled around to see Kanji standing in a doorway she hadn't noticed before, looking confused and disgusted. She nearly laughed out of relief. "Kanji-kun!"

"Ooh, look who decided to show up! Fun, fun," the Shadow tittered, resting an elbow on Naoto's head. Its attitude had changed completely, the danger gone for now. "Get that cute little scientist in here and we've got ourselves a party."

Naoto ducked out from underneath the Shadow's arm and seized the moment it was off balance to dart towards Kanji. Keeping watch on his double out of the corner of his eye, he grabbed Naoto's shoulders and looked her up and down.

"You all right? It didn't hurt ya, did it?" he asked, concern in his voice.

"No. I'm fine." Perhaps she hesitated a moment too long in answering, because Kanji's eyes narrowed in suspicion and his nails dug into her shoulders before he let go. Cracking his knuckles, he glared at the Shadow, who was standing tall, hands on its hips and a smirk on its face, watching them.

"I swear," he growled, stomping in its direction, "I swear, if you laid one _finger_ on her –" Kanji made a gesture like he was trying to grab the Shadow by its collar, but finding nothing there, shoved it to the ground instead.

"That's right, solve all your problems with violence, that'll impress her," the Shadow jeered, and Kanji stiffened.

"Ain't tryin' to impress nobody," he muttered, though he backed off, hands dropping to his side.

"Not trying to impress anyone?" The Shadow got to its feet, brushing off its fundoshi, and laughed humorlessly. "Did we write all those love letters for the fun of it? Make half a dozen batches of chocolate because we enjoy eating the crap alone every night? Who are you trying to fool?"

Kanji balled his fists and glanced over his shoulder at Naoto, who arranged her face into a neutral expression with practiced ease.

"Yourself? Naoto?" the Shadow pressed, steam curling off its body in waves. "We both know no one in this room is as dumb as that. It's so obvious we want her, and so obvious we can't have her. We'll never be good enough and we know it, but we hold on to every smile, the sound of our name from those lips, like some love-sick puppy. We're too damn cowardly to tell her how we feel but we can't move on, either." The Shadow jabbed an accusatory finger into Kanji's chest and snarled, "What kind of man are you?"

"I dunno," Kanji yelled, voice cracking. His hands shook and his shoulders heaved with every shaky breath. "I dunno, but I know a real man don't let the people he loves get hurt just 'cuz he can't get his crap together. You came out again 'cuz I been hidin' how I feel, right? So I know how to get rid a'ya." Spinning on his heels to face Naoto, he stood up straight, looked her in the eye, and declared, "Naoto! I – I like you, alright? An' if this idiot did anything to ya 'cuz I couldn't admit it, I'm sorry."

Behind him, Kanji's Shadow gave a bitter smile and began to glow, the light enveloping them both for a moment. _The gig is up. It's all over now. Good luck…_ The Shadow's voice seeped through the room like fog and then it was gone, Naoto's hat falling softly to the floor in its place. Face unreadable, Kanji leaned over to pick it up. He brushed it off, then turned around and slowly approached Naoto. Staring pointedly at a spot some two feet away from her, he dropped the hat onto her head, and she reached up to pull it down over her hair as she waited for him to speak.

"Well? What did it do?" Kanji finally asked, more quietly than Naoto had ever heard him speak, leaning against the wall of the sauna. She hesitated.

"Kanji-kun, I don't –"

"I need to know." His voice was louder, harder. It wasn't a question anymore. "Don't hold back."

Naoto pursed her lips and nodded, looking at the ground. "It…it said that…you liked me even when you thought I was a boy. It made a list of my features that you find attractive, said you want to kiss me, and called me 'Nao Doll.' It said I'm toying with your feelings, and that you don't want friendship, you want all or nothing…from, from me." It was hard enough to repeat the Shadow's words, but, somehow, she managed to add, "You – it…tried to unbutton my shirt, and…touched me all over."

When Naoto was finished, Kanji let out a long sigh, burying his face in his hands and visibly deflating. "Dammit. Dammitdammit_dammit_." His legs seemed to give out on him and he sank to the ground, where he was silent for what felt like forever. Naoto sat down next to him cross-legged, staring at her lap. She wanted to say something, but no words came, so she fidgeted with a loose button on her sleeve, thinking that Kanji could probably fix it in a heartbeat. Minutes passed, and then, "Naoto."

Realizing Kanji had spoken her name and was waiting for a response, Naoto steeled herself and replied, "Y-yes?"

"Look. He…that idiot is me, on some level," Kanji began slowly, eyes fixed on the far wall. "Yeah, I liked ya when I thought you were a guy. Threw me for a loop. You were…really cute, for a dude, y'know? Then you got kidnapped, and I was scared as hell. My heart didn't stop poundin' til you were back safe in our world. When we went to go save you, and it turned out you were a girl…I dunno, it didn't make a difference to me. I just…I wanna protect you. Not 'cuz you're a girl, not 'cuz you _need_ protectin' – you're tougher'n most dudes I know – it's…" He shook his head. "A feelin'? An instinct? Sorry, I suck at this, I know. Point is, I really…_really_ like you." Kanji had more or less held onto his composure up until this point, but redness seeped onto his face as he carried on.

"I…I do think you're pretty. I…" He laughed nervously. "Hell, if he can say it, I can. I think about – about kissin' ya." Finally, Kanji made himself look Naoto in the eye and she found herself once again unable to look away. "I, uh…I want ya to know all that's true. But that sonuva…I would never – _never _– act like that. That part ain't me. First off, t-touchin' ya places ya don't wanna be touched. Yeah, it's hard, feelin' all…what's the word? Unrequited? But I wouldn't try an' force myself on ya like that." He swallowed thickly, stumbling over his next words. "A-a-an' I want ya to know, I…even if ya don't like me like that, even if ya never do, it's fine. Not like I really thought I ever had a chance with you, anyway. Jus' knowin' you, jus' bein' around you, it's enough for me. So don't think bein' your friend don't mean the world to me. If ya ain't completely through with me by now…if you still wanna be my friend, I…" He forced a smile that made Naoto's chest tighten and a lump form in her throat. "I'd be really happy."

"Kanji-kun…" Naoto felt overwhelmed, almost frightened, by Kanji's confession. She could sense the depth behind what she had assumed to be a crush, and never would she have been so presumptuous as to think that anyone could feel this way about her. Her heart raced as she looked over the edge of the cliff, torn between diving in headfirst or turning tail and running. She knew what lay down the path of retreat. She'd stand up, take his hand, lead him out of this sauna and pretend nothing had changed, and maybe it wouldn't. Maybe it wouldn't, but Naoto knew it would, if not for Kanji then for her. He would put her before his own wounded feelings and pride, and she would be eternally grateful for that, but long after he moved on she would look back at this moment and wonder what she could have found had she chosen differently.

But what came after taking the plunge was a mystery. Not the kind of mystery that could be solved by logic and reasoning, or that she could take her time carefully researching and studying, but the kind that you took as it came, day by day, waiting to see what the future holds. There was no way to solve it but to live it. She'd always clung to consistency, predictability, even in the midst of a supernatural murder case. Killers had motives; lovers were not so easy to decipher. It would be so much easier to lock him out, to shut down now before she fell any farther than she already had.

"S'alright if you don't," Kanji whispered into her silence, smile faltering as he looked at the floor in front of him. "S'alright."

_No. _One look at Kanji's pained expression, and the emotion building up in Naoto's chest threatened to overwhelm her. She had no idea what came next, but she couldn't let the chance to find out pass her by, either. If she could feel wanted – feel loved – even love in return, maybe the mystery would be worth it. Without thinking, she sat up on her knees, grabbing Kanji's arm for balance, and pressed her lips against his cheek. She heard his breath catch in his throat. "Naoto, don't…you don't hafta…"

"I know," she murmured. "I'm not." Naoto took his face in her hand, guiding him toward her until their lips brushed. "Kanji-kun…"

"Yeah?" His voice was nothing more than a warm breath, and Naoto gave into temptation, eyes fluttering closed. Kanji's lips were chapped and uncertain, but Naoto's heart skipped a beat as large fingers gently tangled in her hair without hesitation, pulling her deeper into the kiss. She clung tightly to Kanji to steady herself as he shifted to place a hand at her waist, slowly, as if she were made of glass and would crumble if he made any sudden movements. Too soon, it seemed, Kanji pulled back, eliciting a small noise of disappointment from Naoto. He leaned his forehead against hers, tracing small circles at the nape of her neck with his thumb. Naoto opened her eyes, and as they met Kanji's, his widened and, face scarlet, he jerked backwards, as if whatever spell had been cast over them was broken.

"C-crap," he stuttered, looking mortified. "Sorry, I didn't – I wasn't thinking –"

"Wh-what are you apologizing for?" Naoto lifted her fingers to her lips, feeling her cheeks burn. "I – I'm the one who…"

"Oh." Kanji sat up straight, blinking in confusion. "Oh, yeah, you were." A short pause, in which he stared at her in wonder. "What's up with that?"

"What – 'what's _up_ with that?'" Naoto repeated, astonished. She looked away, tugging at the brim of her hat. "I – I mean, I – d-do you really need me to say it?"

"Maybe!" Kanji threw one hand up, running the other through his hair. "You do somethin' like that out of nowhere, I just – I need to know it's for real. If you're just playin' along to make me feel better –"

"I'm not." The words were out before Naoto could help it, and, staring determinedly at the ground, she let the rest spill out before she could clam up. "I wouldn't do that. Kanji-kun, I believe what I feel for you is – is more than what one feels for a friend." Her words hung in the air, unanswered, long enough that Naoto wondered if they'd been swallowed by the steam.

"Y'serious?" Kanji finally asked, apparently not convinced.

"Yes. In fact, I…I'm sure now." Naoto nodded quickly, glancing up, and something inside her grew warm at the look of joy slowly dawning on his face.

"Oh. Cool. Awesome." He laughed a little, shaking his head like he still couldn't believe it. "So – so now what?"

"First, we should get out of this godforsaken place," Naoto mumbled, fanning herself with her hat to hide the smile tugging at the corner of her own mouth.

"Yeah. S'not what I meant, though." Kanji stood up and offered Naoto his hand. When she got to her feet, she looked up at him earnestly, honestly wanting to give him an answer. She racked her brain for the next step, the logical conclusion, only to come up empty. Since coming to Inaba, Naoto's path had become increasingly less certain, though, to her surprise, having friends to walk it with counterbalanced that uncertainty. And now Kanji was taking her down a whole new road, one he knew no better than she did; but where fear of the unknown increased, so did the comfort of his presence.

"I have no clue," she realized. "It's a mystery." Naoto chuckled despite herself. "I love mysteries."

Kanji raised an eyebrow but smiled back. "I'm startin' to like 'em too."

Naoto took Kanji's other hand and gave it a squeeze, ready to face the future. "Let's solve this one together, shall we?"


End file.
